Friday, March 30, 2012


Mother Teresa said, "God doesn't call us to be successful. He calls us to be faithful".  I know that to be true intellectually, but sometimes I waiver emotionally.  The people in our world are fine tuned to expect success.  And at times, they want to and do decide what is to be considered success.  We get a value assigned to us based on our occupation, our wealth and sometimes based on factors that we can't comprehend.  I would not hide the fact that I would want to be known as a productive writer. 

During my years in rescue ministry I came to know that people in the throe of their addiction assumed the identity of their addiction.  They were John the heroin addict, Alice the alcoholic, or simply Patty the homeless woman.  They had lost their identity.  I shared with them that successful or not our true identity must first and foremost be a person that belongs to Jesus.  I must remember that I am first Marty of Jesus Christ and secondly a person that is a mother, grandmother, great grandmother and a wife.  Also I am a person that wants to write and share thoughts with others.  But, none of those things define who I am, or my success in the eyes of God because I am first to be faithful. 

Dear Lord protect us from ourselves and help us rest in you.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


     Completing ones Bucket List most often is accompanied by sacrifice.  We must be cognizant however, that what is a sacrifice for one person may just be "business as usual" for someone else.  What one person may conclude as abysmally failing the quest, another may be able to move forward, leaving that item to evolve into something else or perhaps to fade in the memory all together.
     I have to ask myself about my sacrifices for the items on the list. If I have made sacrifices, no one would recognize  them.  For most of us our Bucket List is usually a very private list, a protection against failure.  More common is a bucket list that has been produced without prayer or deep enough contemplation.  When I looked this week at my list I was unable to decide if I had made adequate sacrifices or not enough serious introspection before adding some things to the list. 
     My sister has been ill recently and she confided that she has nothing to regret or change about her life.  For me,. there are many things I would do differently.  I am not sure if those things should include regret or not. One point that I am unwavering about  is the fact that my Lord is always present, always compensating for my stupidity, always loving me even when I am wrong.  I am reminded of the scripture:  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.  Micah 6:8.     

Saturday, March 17, 2012


     Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  And I am jubilant as I realized that I wrote 1200 words of my book over the past few days.  The past year has been filled with some troubling health issues that have side tracked me as far as getting much writing completed.  My most troubling issue was vertigo which made it almost impossible to concentrate on writing anything of any quality or quantity.  In fact, when I started this blog last year on occasion I was already needing to hang onto the wall for stability.  And so, I put my quest of words aside for a time, but now I am back and the words are flowing. 
     Probably 40 years ago I started a bucket list, simply called my "Things To Do Before I Die".  That title is not as civil as the "Bucket List", but just as accurate.  Some items on the list are still there and will be there until I physically can not satisfy that item. Two years ago I was able to check one item off.  I had always wanted to ride a camel and was able to do that.  My dream had been to ride one across the desert some place, some time, with my hair flowing in the wind.  Well,  I rode a camel but it was in a corral.  So that item evolved into what is possible in my life at this time.  But, let me tell you if I ever have an opportunity to ride the back of a camel across the desert, I will make 2 checks by that item on my list.
     I have always had a love affair with Alaska and wanted to move there.  I should have gone when I was 18 years old but was frozen with fear. But alas, I married and had babies and Alaska was put on the back burner. And then, my family and I were actually moving there and my husband suffered a broken leg and we were not able to go.  But, it still is on my list but it has evolved.  I will make a check on my list when I can fly into Alaska, rent a 4-wheeler and take off for the woods.  You see my dream and the response to it has evolved. 
     Back to the conversation about my writing.  There may not be anyway for that passion to be satisfied other than write the book.  Is it more important than a trip to Alaska?  You bet.  In this instance, the process of evolving can not include failure to write the book.  But it may involve some stumbling blocks as I navigate through these years as a senior citizen.